Waitress: ?????????????
Me: Uh, I want food.
Waitress: ??????????????
Me: (pointing, gesturing pointlessly)
Waitress: ???????????? (points to a seat) ??????????
Me: Shie-shie (thank you)
Waitress: (hovering)
Me: (in Chinese) What are the specials of the house?
Waitress: (confused) ????????????
Me: (showing her the phrasebook)
Waitress: ?????? ??????? (points at like five different things) ??????????
Me: (in Chinese) Is this one eel?
Waitress: (confused) ?????????????
Me: (showing her the phrasebook)
Waitress: ????!! (No?)
Me: Ok, that one (stabbing the menu with my finger)
Waitress: (scribbling) ????
Me: (surmising) Oolong.
To be fair, this is what I imagine it was like from her point of view:
Waitress: Welcome to our beautiful restaurant. Do you have any idea what I'm saying?
Me: ??????????? (pointing to a menu) Food. Uh.
Waitress: Are you alright, sir? I don't understand. Do you need medical assistance?
Me: (pointing, gesturing pointlessly)
Waitress: What's wrong with you? Oh, do you want to sit down? (points to a seat) Sit there where the other customers can't see you.
Me: Tank you.
Waitress: (waiting for the white man to order, eat, and leave)
Me: ??????????????????house
Waitress: (confused) I'm sorry, sir, but I don't understand. Was that German?
Me: (showing her the phrasebook)
Waitress: Oh, I see! Yes, we have many special dishes. (points at like five different things) Please feel free to choose one of these. They are all excellent.
Me: (in Chinese) Do frogs wear underpants?
Waitress: (confused) Excuse me, sir? I didn't study Biology. I was an English major.
Me: (showing her the phrasebook)
Waitress: Oh no, that's not eel. It's manatee intestines. (No?)
Me: Ok, ?????????? (stabbing the menu with my finger)
Waitress: (scribbling) Do you want something to drink?
Me: (surmising) Oolong.
But I think I'm getting the hang of it anyway. I have to end this post now, because several Chinese people are standing behind me, waiting to use the computer, and are in fact watching everything I do. Perhaps, if they can read this, they will stop doing it... no, they're still there. So I will continue my bloggings later.
1 comment:
The "English major" part made me lol. Just like Japan!
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